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Match Report vs Cross Keys 02 July 2023 @ Cross Keys (Skipper Jim, report Warren)

To start i just want to say it would probably be easier for me to give you a report on the final day of the 2nd Ashes Test then it would on this Casuals game as i believe everyone apart from those in the middle were too busy watching the Ashes and berating the cheating aussies then focusing on our game.

We start on a somewhat terrible note as the whole of the casuals turn up to Pontymister in full force ready for the game ahead of them only to find a tournament being played on the pitch we believed to be our home for the next few hours, we were hopeful that it would be over for us to start but to then hear a man with a microphone say “they have won the toss and chosen to field” left our hopeful thoughts in the dust. With a quick phone call from DT and a Wild Will Wondering around we were told that our match was to be played at Cross Keys, so with our bags in tow we headed to the cars and set off to our real destination.

As we all arrive we see what appears to be bottles of ciders flowing from the home teams bags we know that we are in for a treat. We wonder into the away changing rooms, which in a better word would be described as Harry Potters Cupboard, skipper Jim headed to the middle to settle the toss, which turned out to be a gentlemans agreement of the Casuals to bat first. With the home captain begging for a 30 over game and the hopes to get it over and done with Jim ended up convincing him to play 35 overs.

The makeshift opening pair of Jim and Steve O walk to the centre ready to face the start of the innings. It only took until the second over for the first wicket to fall. With the ball before being a ‘quick’ single from Jim (whilst the ball is in the fielders hands and ready to throw at the stumps) Steve O was put on strike. The ball comes in and he hits it straight back and the bowler who takes an easy catch. As Steve O storms of the pitch you can see his blood boiling. “Shouldnt have been facing that fucking ball”- Steve O 2023.

With the home team down to 9 men in the field and Steve O’s blood still boiling he chose to go into field. Whether that was to help the home team out and make it a nice even contest or to be the man to get Jim out after the last antics i don’t entirely know but if i had to i would choose the later.

With the wicket of batsmen number 3 (Will) falling in the 11th over Robbie Sayers walked out to the crease. After a few overs and a couple singles to his name and Jim holding up the other end of the strike he decided to have a swing. Now it was only a short boundary with a giant fence to block the road and house behind it but that information was useless to Robbie as he smashes one over the fence and into the satellite dish of the house behind. With confidence behind him he goes onto hit a 4 with the next ball then a swing and an easy catch at mid off. 3rd wicket gone.

With the run rate slowing as Dave White and Jim are in the middle, Jim goes for a wild swing which is hit straight in the air and caught by the keeper.

Dave White was the next wicket to fall with Ben Stokes (the English superman) following just behind. Only one of them received a standing ovation as they left the field, i’ll leave that to you guys to guess.

Goff Day was the next big hitter scoring a much needed 37 before being bowled, the words of “job done” were muttered as he left the pitch.

In went the young sensation of Liam Warren (who brings the average age of the team down by about 40 years) with only 1 over left there was only one option. SWING. Paul Stevens hits a single to get the wonderkid on strike. First ball- 4!! Tickled off of his leg and down to the boundary, his first one for the Casuals. Next ball was a swing and a miss and his 3rd being put to mid wicket who takes a diving catch to his left. Leaving the unfortunate DT to come in and face the final ball of the innings hindering his chase down of Dan Lewis for the record of DNB. However with that final ball a 2 was ran by the senior pair of P. Stepens and DT.

J. Hodkinson - 39
S. O’Reilly - 4
W. Mason-Wilkes - 30
R. Sayer - 13
D. White - 5
R. Owens - 4
P. Dean - 11
G. Day - 37
L. Warren - 4
P. Stephens - 1*
D. Thomas - 2*

With no Tea on offer the Casuals tucked into their packed lunch aand their eyes were glued on the Ashes with Jimmy Anderson and Josh Tongue trying to score the 60 runs to win the test but to no avail. The only other entertainment on offer was Steve O puring his sushi sauce all over his leg looking like he had an Arse crack on his leg which decided to leak.

With the opening batsmen for the home team padded up and eager to get out the Cazh let out moans and groans as they pull their bodies off of the chairs and into the field.

I dont have much to offer you in way of words for the bowling/fielding as my head was held low due to England going 2-0 down in the Ashes series.

An opening bowling pair of the Daves both bowling a spell off 4 overs each. Both men took a wicket each and the home team were 21-2

Now, the next bowler on to show off their skill was G.Day. with his tremendous 37 with the bat he then goes on to take 5 wickets through the game. With wickets coming in almost every over he bowled.

With everyone having a bowl and Warren jumping the fence to retrieve the ball from the river more than once, the game was coming to an end. The home team being down a batter, little George White comes out in his pads. With the young man hitting a few good balls and keeping out a couple that were on the money he managed to be the only one for the home team not out. George being a brilliant little prospect for the Cazh in the coming years we can only hope he doesnt get snatched up by other teams.

D. White - 1-8-4
D. Thomas - 1-13-4
G. Day - 5-11-4.2
S. O’Reilly - 1-14-3
R. Sayer - 0-14-1
P. Stephens - 0-12-4
L. Warren- 1-19-3
R. Owens - 1-14-3
P. Dean - 0-32-2
W. Mason-Wilkes - 0-5-1

Man of the match performance goes to G. Day. His dab hand with the bat helped us get to a defendable total. A 5 Wicket haul means he will go down in Cazh history and the purchase of onion rings and chips for the Cazh after the game means hes in my good books for life.

A good win for the Cazh
165-7 vs 147 all out



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