Match Report vs Cross
Keys 02 July 2023 @ Cross Keys (Skipper Jim, report
To start i just want to say it would probably be easier for
me to give you a report on the final day of the 2nd Ashes
Test then it would on this Casuals game as i believe everyone
apart from those in the middle were too busy watching the
Ashes and berating the cheating aussies then focusing on our
We start on a somewhat terrible note as the whole of the
casuals turn up to Pontymister in full force ready for the
game ahead of them only to find a tournament being played
on the pitch we believed to be our home for the next few hours,
we were hopeful that it would be over for us to start but
to then hear a man with a microphone say “they have
won the toss and chosen to field” left our hopeful thoughts
in the dust. With a quick phone call from DT and a Wild Will
Wondering around we were told that our match was to be played
at Cross Keys, so with our bags in tow we headed to the cars
and set off to our real destination.
As we all arrive we see what appears to be bottles of ciders
flowing from the home teams bags we know that we are in for
a treat. We wonder into the away changing rooms, which in
a better word would be described as Harry Potters Cupboard,
skipper Jim headed to the middle to settle the toss, which
turned out to be a gentlemans agreement of the Casuals to
bat first. With the home captain begging for a 30 over game
and the hopes to get it over and done with Jim ended up convincing
him to play 35 overs.
The makeshift opening pair of Jim and Steve O walk to the
centre ready to face the start of the innings. It only took
until the second over for the first wicket to fall. With the
ball before being a ‘quick’ single from Jim (whilst
the ball is in the fielders hands and ready to throw at the
stumps) Steve O was put on strike. The ball comes in and he
hits it straight back and the bowler who takes an easy catch.
As Steve O storms of the pitch you can see his blood boiling.
“Shouldnt have been facing that fucking ball”-
Steve O 2023.
With the home team down to 9 men in the field and Steve O’s
blood still boiling he chose to go into field. Whether that
was to help the home team out and make it a nice even contest
or to be the man to get Jim out after the last antics i don’t
entirely know but if i had to i would choose the later.
With the wicket of batsmen number 3 (Will) falling in the
11th over Robbie Sayers walked out to the crease. After a
few overs and a couple singles to his name and Jim holding
up the other end of the strike he decided to have a swing.
Now it was only a short boundary with a giant fence to block
the road and house behind it but that information was useless
to Robbie as he smashes one over the fence and into the satellite
dish of the house behind. With confidence behind him he goes
onto hit a 4 with the next ball then a swing and an easy catch
at mid off. 3rd wicket gone.
With the run rate slowing as Dave White and Jim are in the
middle, Jim goes for a wild swing which is hit straight in
the air and caught by the keeper.
Dave White was the next wicket to fall with Ben Stokes (the
English superman) following just behind. Only one of them
received a standing ovation as they left the field, i’ll
leave that to you guys to guess.
Goff Day was the next big hitter scoring a much needed 37
before being bowled, the words of “job done” were
muttered as he left the pitch.
In went the young sensation of Liam Warren (who brings the
average age of the team down by about 40 years) with only
1 over left there was only one option. SWING. Paul Stevens
hits a single to get the wonderkid on strike. First ball-
4!! Tickled off of his leg and down to the boundary, his first
one for the Casuals. Next ball was a swing and a miss and
his 3rd being put to mid wicket who takes a diving catch to
his left. Leaving the unfortunate DT to come in and face the
final ball of the innings hindering his chase down of Dan
Lewis for the record of DNB. However with that final ball
a 2 was ran by the senior pair of P. Stepens and DT.
J. Hodkinson - 39
S. O’Reilly - 4
W. Mason-Wilkes - 30
R. Sayer - 13
D. White - 5
R. Owens - 4
P. Dean - 11
G. Day - 37
L. Warren - 4
P. Stephens - 1*
D. Thomas - 2*
With no Tea on offer the Casuals tucked into their packed
lunch aand their eyes were glued on the Ashes with Jimmy Anderson
and Josh Tongue trying to score the 60 runs to win the test
but to no avail. The only other entertainment on offer was
Steve O puring his sushi sauce all over his leg looking like
he had an Arse crack on his leg which decided to leak.
With the opening batsmen for the home team padded up and
eager to get out the Cazh let out moans and groans as they
pull their bodies off of the chairs and into the field.
I dont have much to offer you in way of words for the bowling/fielding
as my head was held low due to England going 2-0 down in the
An opening bowling pair of the Daves both bowling a spell
off 4 overs each. Both men took a wicket each and the home
team were 21-2
Now, the next bowler on to show off their skill was G.Day.
with his tremendous 37 with the bat he then goes on to take
5 wickets through the game. With wickets coming in almost
every over he bowled.
With everyone having a bowl and Warren jumping the fence
to retrieve the ball from the river more than once, the game
was coming to an end. The home team being down a batter, little
George White comes out in his pads. With the young man hitting
a few good balls and keeping out a couple that were on the
money he managed to be the only one for the home team not
out. George being a brilliant little prospect for the Cazh
in the coming years we can only hope he doesnt get snatched
up by other teams.
D. White - 1-8-4
D. Thomas - 1-13-4
G. Day - 5-11-4.2
S. O’Reilly - 1-14-3
R. Sayer - 0-14-1
P. Stephens - 0-12-4
L. Warren- 1-19-3
R. Owens - 1-14-3
P. Dean - 0-32-2
W. Mason-Wilkes - 0-5-1
Man of the match performance goes to G. Day. His dab hand
with the bat helped us get to a defendable total. A 5 Wicket
haul means he will go down in Cazh history and the purchase
of onion rings and chips for the Cazh after the game means
hes in my good books for life.
A good win for the Cazh
165-7 vs 147 all out