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Match Report vs Huntley - Tour match 2 11 September 2022 @ Huntley, nr Cheltenham (Skipper Alex, report Cheese)

The Sunday of tour started with the usual roll call at Breakfast, there was an early shout from Shakey that he would be unavailable for the game but perhaps a little more surprising that he was skipping breakfast (hope your ok, Shakes). The rest of the casuals assembled at the cosy club with some returning to the Bankhouse for the morning repast.

The usual stories were regaled at the table and the usual culprit being the main antagonist, Goff spilling a table of drinks over Dan at the early hours creche and then abusing the night porter while getting a late morning kebab. A calm descended on the table as the food was brought out and as the mastication started to slow Tesh took his opportunity to tell his anecdote about his cut on the elbow from the shower soap holder. As the story continued the intensity of the ensemble caz gaze increased and Tickled warmed to the task of story telling, as he finished with the audience in the palm of his hand, the thought of following up with his tale of how he got a splinter from a complimentary M&S fork started form. Before he started he looked around to bring more people under his thrall only to be met by a rather buxom young lady awaiting to take the empty plates. At that point the penny dropped that the audience were concentrating on the cheddar gorge of cleavage on display rather that his shower related injury.

As you can imagine for the rest of the time, the conversation was rather myopic and then we all dispersed to get ourselves to the ground.

No losses on the transfer from Hotel to ground just Foxy taking a tour of his old hunting grounds from his youth, as we arrived the oppo were clearing away the carnage of their awards night before. A warm welcome was given and an invitation to bat first was extended, normally a recipe of disaster for the club but looking around his assembled team captain for the day Alex decided that an extra couple of hours rest might be advantageous.

Both teams walked out to the middle for a minutes silence for the Queen, which was impeccably observed apart from the sound of gargling caz stomachs. Tesh who was rested the day before was left at the crease with Quasimodo (Rhys) to open the innings. It was quite clear from the start that the pitch was like Wenvoe low and slow though with the added benefit of at times prodigious turn. A solid start from the opening pair with only one chance given, a drop from Tesh's bat at mid on. The only area of concern was the silent calling between the two but none of the opportunities were taken. After ten overs we were 39 for 0. Quasi trying to get on the attack with the change of bowlers but walked pass one that turned down the slope and was bowled. Alex strode out to the middle looking make up for the day before.

The ball started to hit the rope more often and both started to hit their stride, Tesh using his on side flick and Alex pulling thought mid-wicket. We both teams nursing a couple of players from the day before drinks were taken at 15 overs, unfortunately this took the flow out of the game for the batsmen and this was the undoing for Tesh as he tried to get going again and was bowled.

Cheese joined Alex and tried to pass on the strike as much as he could as with Alex getting in the grove and missing the fielders no matter where they were put. Alex bought up his 50 just after bring up the cazh hundred and looked set for a big score. Cheese exited stage left swiping at a ball down leg side and being caught at gully.

This brought the big show to the crease, Steve-o. A feature of batting on tour was going out to the middle with a varying degree of chorus to the phrase "Duck chip"; "Duck chip"; "Duck chip". Steve-o faced three balls one missed; one cut through this legs to a waiting fielder and one hit the pads through all he was vehemently supported from the pavilion by the rest of the caz. Then it was time for drinks again and the wait continued for Steve-o's first run. After drinks Alex wilked the strike and the first run wait continued, Alex's innings had running steadily all through the drama and had reached the nineties where he had been missing the fielders for the first 80 runs, he had now started finding them with alarming regularity.

A fielder took a knock and there was a delay while treatment was given, Steve-0 had been out in the middle for 19 minutes and faced 7 balls. The opposition captain brought himself on to bowl with caz innings at 179 -3. Alex took one off the first second ball of the over and then Steve-o had 4 balls to get off a duck, first ball swing and miss, second ball cut through his legs but straight to fielder, third ball it happened.... missed a straight one and was bowled, the supporting caz erupted in cheers and a chant of 'duck chip' much to the bemusement of the supporting oppo. Steve-o walk from the crease has been brilliantly caught on video by Rhys and should be required viewing for any new Cazh.

Alex had been calmly waiting through the celebrations to get on with his innings, he started to hunt the for his last ten runs for a ton. This also coincided with the openers coming back on, unfortunately Alex got the dreaded low ball and was cleaned up for a brilliant 93.

The next three battters started to play what I have started to call 'duck chip' batting, all the effort to get off the duck no matter the cost. Jim got his single and then swiped at a straight one. Dan lobbed one into the covers just short of the fielder and charged off for the single required with a little fumble Dan managed to get the other end with the ball hitting the stumps after he was in which meant the anchors were engaged to get back to the other end for a 2, were the ball never left the square. Next ball trying to consolidate his score Dan was undone by his defense and was bowled. Pat was in next but with the bowler with his tail up was prised out for a second ball duck.

Luuvers had been stranded off strike watching the carnage down the other end but with Goffy and Foxy the last two partners, he looked to get on with the job. That was a difficult task on this wicket and skewed a single to bring Goffy on strike against the bowler that had taken 3 wickets in his last over. What happen next was one of the most heinous acts, I have seen on caz cricket pitch. After bowling at a decent pace the bowler seemed to try a slower ball but on closer inspection a prearranged moon ball had been delivered with Goff knocking the ball to mid-on and scuttling down to other end. This had been accomplished by Goff by bribing the oppo captain with two drinks. After that the rest of the innings was a bit a daze and quite frankly tea could not come quick enough to get the sour taste out of my mouth.

R Davies - 12
M Hirani - 30
A Heath - 93
E Stewart - 25
S O'reilly - 0!
G Loveridge - 9
J Hodkinson - 1
D Lewis - 2
P Dean - 0
G Day - 5
J Prior - 0

The innings were separated by a blast from the past, homemade tea. It would have been brilliant no matter what, there need ain't been and concern; 6 different types sandwich, cocktail sausages, pork pies, crisps, quiche and pizza slices. Then homemade chocolate cake & Victoria Sponge with the half scones. Also a great cup of tea. The only thing that was not at the usual standard was the caz tea plate building with many sparse plates brought to the table at first though the return trips were calmly familiar.

On to the bowling with a decent total defend, the entered the field with more concern about not picking on the dropped catch and mis-field token.
With Dan and Goff opening the bowling the oppo were never going to get away to flyer, the first 6 overs went on without much going on. Then goff made the break after taking a little punishment to shorter mid-wicket boundary, managed to produce a surprise straight one and bowled the more aggressive batter.

Dan was still plugging away beating the outside edge and the batter only just getting an inside edge. Then to the surprise of everyone the outside edge was taken and we all got ready to commiserate with him. Then the second surprise was Super-hands clinging on to the chance and within 10 over the caz were into the middle order.

Pat replaced Goff and start with nagging line with the odd one moving up the slope with the Dan still running through his spell the runs drier up. This started a game of chicken between the batters for riskiest run, this finally end with Cheese managing to pick one cleanly but then lobbing it straight at Jim's head but still managed to take the bails before the batter got in.

With Dan's spelling ending with the oppo just trying to keep him out for the last two overs, the oppo sensed the opportunity to open up. This also coincided with Luuvers starting to bowl his leg spin as some of the young batters had entered the fray. Pat was still going up the hill dragging the oppo forward and forcing the false shot. In the end Pat had to do it all himself for his wicket taking a sharp caught and bowled with an extra Tiger fist pump.
Luuvers looking for some reward for his leg spin, which he had been his own hype man for, bowled a little faster and sneaked one through the penultimate batter above 5'5". This brought the oppo captain to the crease who reignited the fading match, Steve-o had to deal with the initial onslaught by allowing a boundary and single off the first two balls and then bowling at the younger batters. Luuvers still ripping his leg-spin was peddling the same tactic as Steve-o then as his spell came to an end looking to get show that his new found action had some legs, was unrestrained with his appeal for a lbw against the young batter. Not to be keep out of the game when not bowling Luuvers pulled off a great catch in the covers to give Steve-o some solace in a tough match.

Foxy's taking over from Luuvers walked straight into the captain trying to bring down the run rate to keep the game interesting and was pummeled in his first over but came back with real spirit to keep his length and line to keep the run rate down and effectively end the match.

With the opposition needing 75 runs off the last 12overs, Cheese & Tesh were allowed to have a bowl. This last 6 overs was the story of three catches, firstly Steve-o had a ball toe ended to him at midwicket off a Tesh moon ball, with the joint catch record holder steadying himself this looked like a gimmie, only for him to shell the catch. Que the normal verbal diarrhea from the bearded wonder but only to restrain himself with a number little ones around.

The next catch fell to Tesh off the long hop from cheese; the ball was hammered at him but was dropping sharply. Tesh managed to get his hands under the ball but not quite in the right place and ball smacked into his thumb jumped and up and grasped at the second chance, with that the oppo captain gone the game was done.

The last catch fell to steve-o a dolly drop straight at home, as it came down he could feel Dan breathing down his neck ready to jump in. The ball was successfully caught what then followed was a Imran Tahir type celebration but at a gentler pace, as he was out on his own in top spot on the catchers chart.

And with that Tour was over for another year and the tired but sated casuals drove off in the Gloucester levels on their various way homes.

D Lewis -
G Day -
P Dean -
G Loveridge -
S O'reilly -
J Prior -
E Stewart -
M Hirani -




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