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Match Report vs Tour 1 Stapleton, Bristol 04 Sept 2021 @ Stapleton (Skipper Rich/Dan, report Dan)

After the fallow year of 2020, the Cazh Tour Committee weren’t going to let the another year pass by – so with restrictions lifted (in England) there was a bit of last minute scramble to get a tour on. Bristol was selected as on the “far enough/near enough” distance scale – Cazh numbers good (at one point 14 available for both days – eventually dwindled to 12 and 11), oppo sorted, hotels haggled – weather glorious. Tour on. Four of the clan (Goff, Cheese, Luvvers and Dan) went Tour XL arriving on Thursday evening (before golf on the Friday) – however, the initial idea of ‘just a few drinks’ for night 1 soon went out of the window, culminating in a 3.30 finish. Fortunately no injuries as none of them could work out how to use the motorised scooters that plagued Bristol over the weekend.

Golf was entertaining on the Friday (at Shirehampton) – never far away from another fairway; green or tee or road…the winner on recount was Little Ed by a point (34) – handicap cut for next year.

Friday night was a later finish that the Thursday for tour XL and a few others including Tour Virgin (good show). The evening meal was by far the best we’ve had on a tour – Cheese’s ‘bucket list’ restaurants - the posh / up market Clifton Lido restaurant was a success, even with a late change to start time (Jim late) and additional numbers (Foxy as per a few times this season showing up unannounced) – but Lido was excellent and accommodating – highly recommend.

So – onto the cricket – Match 1 – Stapleton at Sleepy Hollow. Lovely little ground just off m32. Foxy’s grandson plays there as does newly formed women’s team with daughter and friends (in attendance for this match). Stapleton team looked athletic and keen, but very friendly. Toss was decided – Stapleton to bat first. The Cazh were looking a bit fragile, but were sweating it out on the field in the September heatwave. Tour virgin – Pat – donned the pink tight fitting dress that had been purchased from a street stall earlier that morning (sleeves cut mid match to allow blood to recirculate). Goffy had lost spoof the previous evening – so was relegated to scoring (though it looked like this was a win for him as was a little jaded and with injured ankle), Richie had lost round 2 and was Saturday match Tour captain.

Dan opened up from the cow field end and Shakey from the village end. Shakey’s first ball – legside, full toss dolly was unexpectedly spooned round the corner to Dan on the 45 for a simple catch (though Dan somehow managed to pull his ‘hip’ in the process of catching it – maybe already realising that he’d once again just pulled clear of Steveo in the career catches stakes…). I think we got lucky as the departing batsman turned out to be a bit of a star player – although he proceeded to drink heavily throughout the match, he was very much played a part in the rest of the game.

The following overs had a bit of ‘everything’ – lots of dots, a boundary in every over, a few misfields mostly through the ‘peaky’ looking in-season skipper, but most notable was tour Skipper Richie – fielding at mid-off stopped a firmly hit drive – all seemed fine – but he’d caught his little finger between ball and solid ground and was forced to leave the field with finger at a jaunty angle. Skippering duties fell to Dan, and Goffy (just starting his second can) was ‘forced’ into taking to the field (once 2nd can was finished). Dan picked up a wicket in the 7th cartwheeling middle and leg, and took another catch of Shakey in the 14th – this time a skier, out of the sun and requiring dodging the square leg (drinking) umpire. At this point the no3 had started to up the pace and bowling change was required. Luvvers took after from Dan and DT from Shakes.

DT got the break through in his 2nd – Tour Virgin Pat taking a snorter of a catch in the deep at long off – not sure if the batsman saw him against the backdrop of houses, covers and wearing a dress – but out he was. Luvvers stemmed the flow of runs from the no3 with a sharp seam attack (which would be returned in the 2 innings…) . At drinks the score was 123-4. DT picked up the next wicket caught by Luvvers on the boundary, and the rotation of bowlers began, so did the scoring rate from the new batsmen – someone did mention that each time a wicket was taken a bigger batsman seemed to replace the previous one. The bowling and the fielding was very good (the fielding had improved all round from the earlier overs), but the batting also got better. Everyone got a bowl, but only one more wicket was taken – by Cheese last ball of the innings. Stapleton finishing on 272-6 off 40overs.

Dan 7-0-38-1
Shakey 7-0-44-2
Luvvers 5-0-16-0
DT 7-0-47-2
Foxy 3-0-24-0
P Dean 2-0-15-0
Goffy 2-0-14-0
Steveo 2-0-20-0
Cheese 3-0-29-1
Rob 2-1-15-0
Catches Dan x2; Luvvers x 1; Pat x 1

After the now ‘normal’ BYO tea, Jim and Cheese opened the batting. The team target to see out the 40 overs. A very steady start was made against some accurate bowling 27-0 off 10. Jim falling lbw in the 11th (15), bringing Rob to the crease. Another steady partnership for the next 10 overs – at drinks the score on 72-1. Rob fell straight after drinks (13) bowled by a howler – pitched and rolled – nothing could be done about it. TV Pat next in and supported Cheese to his 50 before being bowled for 4. Steveo and Cheese stuck around until the 34th over – by which time the accurate bowling had been replaced by quicker accurate bowling.

At the start of the game it was agreed there would be free-hits for any no-balls - we don’t see many of those usually but in inngings 1, young Cheese popped a few beamers in which were called, and innings 2 there were quite a few ‘sharp’ beamers – which kept the batmen on their toes or their arses as the case turned out. It wasn’t clearly visible early on – but the Cazh collapse started to hove into view… Steveo was out caught in the 34th (18). Cheese on 94 was then caught out spectacularly by the opening bat, who by this stage had got through at least 10 bottles of beer (also had a bullet arm in the field), he took the skied catch at slip – one handed, whilst still holding the bottle in the other hand – and didn’t spill a drop.

Luvvers had crossed and was out next ball bowled. Foxy in on the hat-trick – obliged – played and missed and was bowled. Shakey out next over bowled 0. Dan and Goffy there to see off the 2 remaining overs with DT in the hutch not really scratching at the door to ‘get out there’ against some now worryingly quick 1st team bowling. The team target was reached with Goffy being bowled last ball of the inngings, DT not required, plus giving the young bowler probably his best ever figures of 6 for 8. The Cazh finished on a very respectable 199-9.

Jim lbw 15
Cheese ct 94
Rob b 13
Pat ct 4
Steveo ct 18
Luvvers b 3
Shakey b 0
Foxy b 0
Dan no 8
Goffy b 1

A lovely day’s cricket played in a great spirit, glorious weather and bar. We had a quick couple sitting on the boundary edge before returning the fray of Saturday night tour – which turned out to be later again than the night before….



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