Match Report vs Barry
West End 17 July 2018 @ The Island (Skipper Dan, report
These things usually start out by saying what a lovely or
cloudy or cold day it was. But this day was bloody hot, not
pleasantly hot, not a blade of green grass was spotted all
day. It looked like a scene from Lawrence of Arabia or Beau
Geste, the military theme is quite fitting here but more of
Did I mention it was fucking hot; the outfield, which is
normally sharpish, was quicker than Usain Bolt’s arse
after a dodgy curry. There was a mention of mutiny and calling
the game off so we could go on the shows and eat candyfloss
but too late, we had been spotted, buggering off would have
looked bad considering the international women’s bowls
tournament going on the other side of the club house. (I know,
I was shocked too, the last time Barry had an international
event it was the ill-fated one-legged arse-kicking contest
Anyhow, Captain Dan won the toss and elected to bat, much
to the delight of the gathered Casuals and he sent Luvvers
and Rob out to open up.
Last time we played here it was a damp grassy pitch, we lost
the toss and batted first and managed a resounding 66 all
out from 35 overs. I know this as this was the usual one time
in every year when Dan asks the question “do you fancy
a bat today Pabs” followed by the correct response of
“if you want me to skip” followed by me playing
and missing every other ball and staying in for 12 overs resulting
in a grand total of 8 runs. It moved everywhere, up, down,
side to side, over my head, along the floor, every bloody
way a cricket ball could move, it did.
This though, was a ROAD. Tap it and unwrap it, miss the infield
and it was 4, Rob was out in the 20th over for a very good
37, Sergeant Luvvers, our very own Legionnaire was 63 not
out at this stage and they had put on 109 runs, there were
boundaries yes but the bowling was fairly accurate and a feature
of the partnership was the good quick running and the taking
of singles on offer as the infield was set back because the
outfield was so quick.
These quick singles do come back to haunt you though, as
Will, Dave and I always say “nothing good cam come from
being fit or running”. This is the point where our fit
soldier starts to hallucinate like Jenny Agutter in Walkabout,
(ah the mammaries, sorry memories). Gareth, on this boiling
hot day and running around was feeling cold! Apparently this
is the first sign of heat exhaustion, drinks only paused the
agony. In the end I went out to umpire with a bottle of water
so he could drink after every over. I like to think that this
was the turning point of the day and I was the overall reason
for our victory.
A recovering Luvvers was joined by “I can count to
five” Jesus for another great partnership of 83, Will
made a swashbuckling 65 with one enormous six that I remember
and then Luvvers was eventually out for a brilliant and exhausting
looking 106, caught having a swipe. All piss taking aside
all 3 bated brilliantly and it was a great watch both from
the sidelines and when I was umpiring.
Dave White had joined Will before Will’s demise. Dave
made a solid 18 not out. Now while all this batting was going
on our number five batsman was full of encouragement. I wont
name him but these are some of his enthusiastic rousing comments
“Come on you Casuals, plenty of batting to come”
“Howzaaaaaat, surely that was out”
“Run him out”
“There’s three there, lazy fuckers”
“I don’t mind what happens, I just want to get
In he came, run out without facing a ball, priceless almost
Dan joined Dave for 3 not out, Casuals 251 for 4 off our
Dave White 18 not out
Dan 3 not out
A good tea was laid on as usual; Shakey had prepared (?)
melon as well but it was warm as there was no room in the
fridge. We rehydrated and prepared for 40overs of hard slog
in the field hoping to defend 251.
They started quite slowly thanks to Dan with 3 maidens on
the trot and ending up with figures of 5 overs, 3 maidens
0 for 9. Dave Thomas at the other end was equally miserly
going for 14 off his wicket less 8 overs.
Shakes made the breakthrough (I think, I cant remember and
the scorebook picture is fuzzy), getting one of the openers
caught by Dan, the other opener, the left hander was snared
by Pete, caught behind by Steve (I know!!). As I said either
of these things could have happened first I can’t remember,
but the fall of wickets was 35 and 49 so not that far apart.
They then had a long partnership of 64 between the three
and four batsman, it never looked like getting out of control
though after the slow start, This partnership was broken by
Dave White capping off a good day with 1 for 13, caught behind
again by Steve (gloves as soft as a ducks feathers that man!!).
Shakes meanwhile went for 23 off his 8 with the aforementioned
wicket and Pete finished with six overs 1 for 36.
I turned my arm over and knocked over a kid with a slow off
spinner and took a fine throw from long off from Jesus to
run out their number 4 for a well made 47.
Rich also got a wicket, bowled. He had 4 overs 1 for 38 and
I had 6 overs 1 for 31.
Barry WE 181 for 6 off 40, Casuals win by 70 runs.
Off to the West End (not that one) for a drink and sandwiches,
which were not finished when I left but we may have got a
A good day, a long day, maybe our first win on the Island
(check that someone).
Oh, and did I mention, it was pissing hot.