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Match Report vs Uni Staff 06July 2017 @ Blackweir (Skipper Dan, report Richie)

An exhausted, beleaguered, unfit, un-athletic, fatigued, ailing, flabby ensemble of Casuals dragged themselves to a changing room-less, shower-less, pavilion-less, almost pitch-less Blackweir for a midweek friendly against Uni Staff.

Unlike some of our recent encounters against Uni Staff these actually looked like ‘staff’ as opposed to ‘students’ so it would be just like a friendly from the old days ....

We borrowed one of their players as we only had 10 players (Saint & Neil having both pulled out ....). There was also a familiar face returning with Andy H making a welcome outing replacing Tim.

Now unfortunately our book wasn’t filled in so I can’t give a blow by blow account of their innings and our bowling or even who won the toss but I did note the following .....

The web master (canal end) & Dave (river end) opened the bowling with Dan going for a miserly 4 from his 3 over spell and T-Bag conceding slightly more with 21. Dan removing the #2 batsman (bowled) for a duck and Dave bowling their other opener for 3 ... not a bad start I hear you say .... I should add at this point that being so near to two aquatic tributaries Jonah had made himself available for this game ... according to the biblical legend the Casz hadn’t won in over a year if he’d been within a 30 mile radius ... we were a helpless fly trapped in the spiders web.

Steve’O and Kiwi Pete were first change and the batsmen steadied their card without losing another wicket during the next six overs.

Kim (2 overs) and Tickle (3 overs) then took over the bowling responsibilities with Kim bowling their #4 for 7.

Rob replaced Kim after a two over stint and removed #5 LBW for 15.

Tesh (bowling through his 3) then took the prize wicket of their #3 batsman who unfortunately had reached 84 by the time Dan snared him on the boundary ... the trap has been set by the skipper and bowler ... the ball was just like the hapless fly drifting helplessly into the spider’s web ... and then slap ... or was it snap ... not as much joy as everyone expected with Dan hanging onto the catch by the rope ... he was looking pale ... almost transparent ... quite quite translucent ... the web wasn’t a spider’s but Dan’s very own web ... between his ring (finger) and pinky – ouch. But he did hold the catch so man-up and carry on was the encouragement offered by his teammates .... Dan was very quiet.

Tesh then also had their #7 stumped (Jonah ... who seemed rather bashful and looked rather guilty of the skipper’s misfortune ... surely the black cloud above him was just coincidence – he couldn’t be held responsible if another Casz [inside two days] would need the assistance of medical support before the evening was out ....)

Richie took the 20th over was a little perturbed by the umpire giving three wides in the over ... even Jonah thought they weren’t wide (so looking back perhaps they were ?) ... Richie wasn’t a happy bunny.

Their innings closed on 149-6 (according to the website as it wasn’t in the photo of the scorecard from book I was given) – exactly the same score by the opposition as two days earlier .... when Jonah also played .... and one of our players had to visit A&E ...

The skipper asked for two umpires and Richie was already on the square counter in hand practicing his aeroplane impressions ....

Rob & Tesh opened up with a great first wicket partnership of 43 from 7 before Rob was caught.

It should be recorded that my aeroplane impressions had irked one of the Uni Staff bowlers by this point but my advice to bowl it straight appeared not to be appreciated ... ah well you can only try

Next to fall was Tesh LBW for 18 with the score on 52 and Kim (who had come in at #3 to replace Rob) was joined by Andy.

A stand of 25 between them was broken when Andy fell bowled (82 for 3) with Jonah in at #5.

Another useful partnership (22) was ended when Kim was caught for 31 with Steve ‘run out’ O’Reilly coming in to join Jonah ... the partnership from the international ministry of unspeakables (or non calling as we would know it)

Who would fall first ..... Jonah’s curse fell upon himself as he was run out for 5.

Richie next in and then out (6) caught (114/6) closely followed by Steve’O who departed for 4 (singles not balls) bowled (by a straight one) with the score still on 114.

Our guest player had replaced Richie and smashed a first ball six off his chums with Kiwi Pete in support to end the Casz innings on 126/7 – a loss by 23 runs .... curse what curse ?

R Owens - 25 - caught
T Hirani - 18 - LBW
K Swain - 31 - caught
A Hood - 8 - bowled
Jonah - 5 – run out
S O’Reilly - 4 - bowled
R Holliday - 6 - caught
Inam - 10 – not out
P Tangey - 1 – not out
D Thomas - DNB
D Lewis - DNB
Extras - 18 (7 wides [should've been a lot more !!!]; 11 byes)
Total – 126/7

Off to the pub for a pint and buffet and a chat to the only oppo who joined us ... well he joined Steve’O to be honest –Dan (webmaster aka Peter Parker) latterly made his way to A&E after Dave decided his surgical acquaintance may not be available to stitch him up ... toes fingers what’s the difference ?



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