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Match Report vs Eclipse 02 June 2016 @ Wenvoe (Skipper Kim, report DB)

Some say he has the visual acuity of an eagle, some say he couldn't hit a cow's arse with a banjo, all we know is he's called the SHAG!!! (explanation to follow)

A bright sunny evening at Wenvoe but not that warm in the shadow of the Pavilion.

Will lost the "guess which hand the grass is in" and the Casuals were put into bat, Tesh and Ollie opening. Tesh (0) lasted 2 balls then tried a suicdal run, which Shakey, umpiring gave out to a very sharp direct hit. (He later stated that Tesh very probably was out!!) Eclipse' fielding was brilliant all game it must be said. 1-1 off 1. Will in next and Ollie made him do a bit more running than usual until he skied one, caught by the keeper (5).2-30 off 4. Richie (0) in and out, bowled 2nd ball 31-3. Darren in at 5. The Caszh were scoring in single and wides mostly (top score 25!). Ollie next out (24) run out Chuckle Bros styley 56-4. Rob at 6 and the singles kept on coming! Darren tried to intimidate the bowler by feinting to advance, which meant he was in completely the wrong position to play the shot! Out, caught (16). 79-5. Pete in next, played a lovely "late cut" for 4 but was next out, bowled (5) 87-6. The SHAG (3) in next, last over. Rob (15) run out off the last ball. Score 95-7 (not enough)


Eclipse had a new player opening the batting, he was also the captain. This was the start of The SHAG'S miserable evening. Hamblin took a real liking to his bowling and they scored 53 off the 1st 4 overs with Shakey bowling from the other end. Dan took a rest after his 2 and DT came on. Hamblin started the same way taking a massive, tile smashing, 6 off the 1st legal delivery for his 50. Luckily he was stumped a couple of balls later when he missed a wide delivery. Pete came on at the other end and got the 2nd wicket caught at gully by Tim (his first casual catch DT took another wicket in his 2nd over (bowled) but the game was all but over now - no more wickets fell. Tesh replaced Pete for what would be the last over (10th).

THE SHAG 2-0-0-33
Shakey 2-0-0-20
DT 3-0-2-15
Pete T 2-0 -1-21
Tesh 0.5-0 -0-9

The Caszh retired to the Wenvoe Arms to lick their wounds (but mostly their fingers after copious buffet). Dan, Shakey and Darren failed to arrive, then Tesh had a phone call informing him that Dan' (THE SHAG) car was "dead". Shakey (May) and Darren (the hamster) had opened the liddy thing at the front and confirmed that there was indeed some stuff in there that probably should have been doing something and wasn't, it might even be the enginey stuff that was broken. They did confirm that there was "go juice" in it but the turny thing definetly wasn't turning. They tried to bump start it to no avail, with and without Dan in the car!! (easier without apparently). Meanwhile, those casuals who had made it to the pub were obviously very concerned. In true Top Gear fashion they suggested leaving him behind and inquired where the Trabant was. DT once again mentioned that he had a very nice vintage (nearly) BMW to sell (2 careful owners plus his Dad who wasn't quite so careful but didn't do too much damage, low mileage, ideal for a collector or in fact anyone, please anyone POA). However it was decided that we would go an help him move it nearer the main road and take him some coke and crisps. We moved the car and he was grateful for the sustenance, although one of the cans did explode when he dropped it, covering his trousers with its contents, and then before he could pick it up to drink the remaining contents it was run over. We left him to the cheerful sound of a nearby baying pack of hounds. He did make it back home before the hounds got him (new battery)



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