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Match Report (Tour 2) vs Bucklebury 14 September 2014 @ Yattendon Wenvoe (Skipper Kim, report Britpop)

It's with great shame that I post this match report approx 369 days later than the match took place (a record Shakey?)

Curry, ducks, russian roulette, sherberts and shandy's, shisha pipes, teqila, beers, shots, lapdancers, sleep deprevation etc

We started the day again with massive hangovers and a equally massive breakfast, unfortunately we had been invited by Bucklebury to arrive early at Yattendon for a pre game BBQ.

Unusually, and perhaps for the first time in their history, the casual boys let the side down with their enthusiasm and consumption of the BBQ food after the massive forementioned breakfast.

So it was left to our rather posh team led by the unforgettable captain chappy - Bingles (OMG what a cock) to gorge themselves on the BBQ, while the casuals team led by Kims energy performed a warm up of sorts.

This was clealy going to be a battle of the classes.

God knows who won the toss, but they ended up batting.
Old Bingles suprisingly opened the batting with himself and got off to a decent and confident start with his fellow opener before Dan bowled the twat.
Dan's fellow opening bowler Ed 'Cheesy Cheese' Stewart should probably have also taken a wicket but unfortunatley Dan was strolling around the bounday with a can of cider in one hand and a fag in the other, and quite frankly looked like he couldn't be bothered to put either down, and watched the ball sail past him to the bounday. (Post match report defense - Dan did try and place the can down in an upright position, but by the time this was acheived, the ball had crossed the line). For those of you that wern't there, I'm sure you know Ed well enough to imagine his reaction (double double teapot)!
Luckily for Dan, in the next over, in what can only be described as the finest 'jonty Rhodes or Derek Randle' type catch in Casual living memory, Britpop plucked a ball out of the air after leaping like a spring salmon to dismiss the other opener.

Despite one or two half decent partnerships, the casz did pretty well over the next 20 overs, with Pete Obee ripping the heart out of their middle order, and would have finished with his 1st 5 wicket haul had Dan not dropped another on the bounday (this time without a fag or a can for an excuse). (Post match report defense - Dan was not going to put his hands anywhere near the 'catch' as the ball was travelling like an exorcet).

Unfortunately, we flagged a bit after drinks in the heat of the afternoon, and with the short straight boundarys they moved past 200 towards their final score of 214 before Dan cleaned up their tail to finish with impressive figures of 3-23.

I'm sure Holliday 0-37, Loveridge 0-27, Day 0-18 and Hood 0-15 all bowled beautifully but I can't remember sorry.

Lewis 6-1-23-3
Stewart 4-0-19-1
Obee 7-0-60-4
Hood 4-1-15-0
Holliday 3-0-37-0
Day 3-0-18-0
Loveridge 3-0-27-0
Hirani 1-0-1-0

The casz had their appetites back at tea and made up for their earlier poor showing at the pre match BBQ

Kim sorted the batting line up and went for pinch hitting Steve'O up front with Tesh. Unfortunately for Steve'O he faced the first over (supringly bowled by Bingles) and didn't last to long after swiping across the line and getting his middle stump flattened without troubling the scorers. So disgusted was he, that he left early for South Wales (in the hope of a cuddle as I remember).
Tesh played a steady knock while his fellow top order got in and got out with both Ed and Gaz both hitting 32 stylish runs a piece.

Unfortunately our captain fantastic got out for 5 and shortly afterward was followed by Tesh who finished with 41.

Britpop and Richy then took it upon themselves to score at a required rate of about 8 an over from the last 10 overs. They both got off to a good start before Richy went for a quick 15, Andy then joined Britpop in the middle and they continued scoring at the required rate until Winkey was run out by some pleb!

With 12 required off the final over, Goff joined Britpop who by this time had moving into the 40's.
Suprisingly once again Bigles or bumbles or bingles decided that he was best suited to bowling the final over (after opening the batting and bowling).
5 runs were taken off the first 4 deliveries and with 6 needed of the last 2 balls Britpop decided to walk down the wicket and was skittled by the posh twat.

Dan then stode to the crease knowing that only a maximum would do, he swung the willow, missed and then game was over - the upper class had provailed and sealed the worst season in Casual history.



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