Match Report vs Sri Lankans 29 July 2012

The sun was still shining, all the players were in attendance (Steveo was obviously the last to arrive as he had the kit), the parky was there, the pitch prepared, the changing rooms open and most importantly the Foxy tea had arrived.

The toss was won by Skipper Ed and into bat we went. The Sri Lankans opened with a medium pacer and a spinner, the spin theme was the main focus of their attack for the duration of the innings. The wicket was a typical wenvoe wicket – slow and low, with the occasional one that took off. The spin/slow pace of the bowling seemed to increase the tendency for the ball to stay low or ‘shoot’, where as the medium pacer bowled too many short balls that sat up. Openers Cheese and Swain held their nerve and provided the Cazh with a solid and useful opening partnership of 44 off 12 overs.

Another continuous theme during the innings was the exuberant appeals, ball hitting the bat, not hitting the bat, hitting the pad, not hitting the pad, bat hitting pad/ground etc. However, the first wicket to fall was that of Cheese who tickled it to the keeper and walked (13). Mr Tickle himself was the next man in. He and Kim continued the battle against the pitch, bowling and appealing, Kim hitting some lovely pulled boundaries and Tesh hitting cover drives. The partnership came to a premature end when Kim chased a wide off side delivery and also tickled it to the keeper, Kim also walked (40). 83-2 off 19overs.

Goff was next in, much to relief of the remaining team and supporters, as he had been keeping something very sinister in his kit bag for obviously far too long – his shirt, the smell drove most out of the changing room. He was not allowed to put it on until he was half way to the stumps. Scorer DT thought it would be a good idea to count how many balls Goff faced, Goff had his game face on, and defended the first 6 balls, then pushed 2 singles, his eye was in and he was bowled (2). 106-3 – off 26 overs.

Shandy made his season’s debut (after many have been cancelled due to rain) and his first as a married man – he had secretly made the commitment the previous week when the sun was out and he knew that the Cazh could not make the big day due to the cricket and Foxy’s big tea….good thinking Shandy! Anyway, the blessing of marriage obviously suited him as he played better than ever – glorious cover drives and stout defending (some of which were caught on camera by Porno, and hadn’t even been photoshoped). It was Tesh, who so unfortunately was stumped not able to get back into his ground after playing forward, his innings finished on 46. 134-4 off 35 overs. Pablo with his lovely new bat made his way out, it looked like it had a nice pick up, and this was proved second ball when he prodded forward, the pinged off the middle, straight into the hands of cover (0).

Shagger joined Shandy, showed his fitness, ran a 2 and felt his legs seize up, nothing some strenuous rubbing and attempted stretching couldn’t solve. Shandy continued his fine batting performance, Shag pulled. Sorry, I’ll finish the sentence, Shag pulled to cow corner, Shandy was eventually trapped legitimately in front of the wicket and given out lbw for 26. With 3 and a half overs to go, Steveo joined Shagger and the pair played their usual innings – slashing hard whenever the ball bounced somewhere in front of them, both finished unbeaten Shag 16 and Steveo 10, what could be a valuable cameo partnership of 27. The Cazh finishing on 168-6 off 40 overs. Shakey, Foxy and DB DNB.

Ed – 13 ct
Kim – 40 ct
Tesh – 46 st
Goff – 2 b
Shandy – 26 lbw
Pablo – 0 ct
Shag – 16 no
Steveo – 10 no

Tea was taken, expertly laid out by the Fox, complete with little descriptions of what you were about to eat, salmon and cucumber, only cucumber, cheese and relish, ham and mustard, various cakes and strawberries. There were also loads of pork pies which if you liked them or not, Foxy insisted on putting on your plate to stop Kim eating them all….they also found their way out onto the pitch for the second innings, whenever he got bored, Foxy would throw one at someone…not sure where he had stashed them, but they were ‘warm’….shame on you those that ate them!!!

Anyway, Shag and DB opened up the bowling attack. Both were very economical, the batsmen finding it difficult to get away, Shag induced a number of balls to pop up off the bat, but into gaps, Steveo who had been the nearest to all these, did manage to take a fantastic catch of Dave's bowling as he wasn’t asked to move towards the ball, taking it on his haunches one handed at short cover. Foxy also had a chance at short mid-wicket, but had almost too much time and spilled the chance. After 16 overs, the last 2 overs being quite expensive going for 19 runs, the Sri Lankan’s were on 50-1.

The Stephens brothers changed the attack, with Pablo getting the break through in his first over, bowled. He then got one the following over lbw. At drinks the Sri Lankans were on 69-3. Shakey was less fortunate believing to have gotten a caught behind, but wasn’t given but continued his now infamous occasional bowling line. He was pulled off….and replaced by Foxy. Foxy started well and enticed the batsmen to have a go, which they did. One of the deliveries which looked for all to see that it was going to be a boundary, was somehow reached by Steveo who looked even more shocked than anyone else, he was however to fulfil everyone’s expectations by palming it over the boundary rope and shouting c**£ very loudly. Shag was also in on the action, sprinting round to take another catch, only to reach it catch it on the end of his finger, and spilt it along with a pint of blood which continued to stream from the finger (artistic licence on the actual amount…). Fortunately Cheese came to the rescue next ball and caught the simple catch safely in his ample bosom. Shakey also managed to juggle a few potential catches to the ground, one a foot too short, one a foot too long of his starting position.

Things actually started to look a bit tighter, the target didn’t seem as big as it once did, and with the Sri Lankan’s star bowler (Dilum) doing the same with the bat, suddenly the amount required didn’t look very much. (about 50 off 10overs) So who do you bring on in times of need….yeap, you guessed it – Steveo. And what a move it was. Starting by getting dispatched for 8 off the first over, he then began to swing from leg to off and got the star man, bowled. He then got the another wicket caught and bowled next over…and again once more in his final over, bowled!

Shakey had been asked to return with 4 overs left and the Sri Lankan’s requiring just 18 from 24 balls. The Sri Lankan number 4 had returned after pulling something in his back earlier in the innings and first ball up, smashed Shakey into Penelope’s garden for 6. Shakey fought back and went for another single. He then bowled the penultimate over 10 required from 12 balls 2 wickets remaining…first ball, Goffy took a very sharp catch off a thin edge to remove the number 4, 3 balls later the last man hoisted one high in the air towards the solid Cheese, who ran in forgot that he wasn’t 6 foot tall, and managed to cling on to the winning catch high above his head. Sri Lankan's 159ao off 39overs.

A fantastic win by the Cazh – a lot closer than it appeared to begin with, and had the Sri Lankan’s not gone for the heave ho quite so often, might (if not should) have clinched victory. However, an excellent day all round. It was then off to the pub for talk of weddings and tour. Happy days.

Dan – 8-1-21-0
Dave – 8-3-28-1
Shakey – 8-0-36-2
Pablo – 7-0-34-3
Foxy – 4-0-14-1
Steveo – 4-0-21-3

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