Match Report vs Tintern 19 June 2011

Somehow I had contrived to miss this fixture every year so I was keen to see what the ground was like.
After a bit of dicking about I found the ground and fair play it’s the kind of setting you don’t get too often. Little changing shed, pub, café and a ruined abbey in the background (apparently the second oldest abbey in Britain but im open for correction)
On closer inspection things weren’t quite so idyllic. The pitch was sloped across both its length and breadth and looked green and patchy, the shed was full of paint and the scorers table was next to some conveniently placed dog shit (Andy Ftried to disguise the smell with what he quaintly termed ‘deodorant’ but the combination smelled like a pensioners bathroom).

Muff won the toss!
Muff elected to have a bat hoping the wicket wouldn’t get any better and then out to the minefield strode Jam and Shakey . Then shakey strode back caught for 1. Then Cheese strode back caught for 0. Then Jam strode back caught for 1. Then Britpop strode back bowled for 1. Then….oh hang on Ash has only gone and hit the bleedin ball! Oh he's missed one. Bowled for 14. Then Goff after bellowing instructions at Ash was bowled for 0.
78-6 at the 20th.
Then Steve’o hit the ball! Then he missed it. Bowled for 7.
Then Winkie strode to the wicket and after 27 non-scoring balls(a personal best) hit one and another and another taking us through to the close with a battling, hard earned 32 not-out.
Casuals 180 for 8 off the 40.
Hang on I hear you say, how the fuck did we get 180!? Where did the other 124 runs come from? Well the extras came to 25. Which I think you will find leaves 99 unaccounted runs.
Now you will have to take my word for it but on the most difficult of pitches against decent bowling Kim played the innings of the year. Every ball played on its merits and every bad ball put away like a pro, an absolutely chanceless 94 and then dropped twice, once on 95 then on 96 and then finally caught off the last ball for 99 whilst unselfishly trying to smack one when every body on the field knew he only needed 1 for the ton. Class Kim, class. He even conspired to give Andy a five by deflecting a throw at the stumps for 4! A total to bowl at and I hoped at least 50 runs above par.

Tea was taken at the local café where the local waitress was dubbed two scoops by Goff and was very pleasant. The tea not two scoops. Although once again the egg sandwiches did not have any seasoning which really upsets me because how difficult is it to put some salt and pepper in a mixing bowl eh? Coffee and walnut cake was nice though. And the scones.
The oppositions run chase never really happened, excellent bowling by the openers Winkie and Paul meant they didn’t get off to a flyer, Andy particularly bowled as well as I've seen this year and was unlucky not to get his michelle and then good back up from Ed, Goff, Steve’o and Muff picking up wickets at regular intervals meant the game was wrapped up in the 28th over Steve picking up the last when the oppo were on 108. Good fielding kept the pressure on all game but no catches(or chances for that matter) as for the first time in my memory every wicket bar 1 was bowled, the exception being a great run-out by Ed to Ash behind the stumps who had a much better game than the stats will tell you.
Andrew hood 8-2-18-4
Paul stephens 6-2-26-1
Edward stewart 4-0-14-1
Matthew foote 4-2-11-2
Goff (geoffery, godfrey?) day 4-0-15-0
Steven fisher/o’reilly 2.2-0-11-1
Apologies to those who would have bowled or didn’t get all 8 but we were just too good!
Thanks to Porno for the scoring and can we all see the photos you were taking of the barmaid?
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