Match Report vs Sully
Centurions 05 June 2011@ Sully, Burnham Avenue (Skipper
Ed, report JR)
Ed told me that the cricket part of the report had to start
before the seventh paragraph so the cautionary tale I was
going to start with will follow at the end.
On a cloudy but fine day at Sully by the sea eleven good
men and true had made it to the venue on time to play what
seemed a very youthful Centurions side. Except for the one
who was over 60 everyone else looked like they were still
in high school even if they did drive up in 4x4s. The pre
match talk between club captain and club chairman was for
the need to bowl first at all costs to extend the game, harsh
but as it turned out pretty fair.
If I am correct captain Ed won the toss and put the centurions
into bat. The book is sketchy on the Centurions innings but
I will do my best to elucidate the highlights.
The batsmen and umpires were out on the square while Steveo
and Dan were still in the changing room but we were soon underway
with Winky taking the opening five from the sea end and DT
bowling through his allocation from the other.
The first three overs went for about 21 and it looked like
it may be a long afternoon. This included four byes that raced
away to the boundary on the firm but sometimes unpredictable
out field. However, the first chance was soon to come our
way and off the bowling of DT the ball was lobbed up to mid
wicket for a waiting Shakey, unfortunately the chance wasn't
taken but Shakey would soon atone. The missed chance seemed
to stem the flow of runs as the batsmen found the gaps harder
to come by.
Dan replaced Winky coming up the hill from the sea end and
bowled through his full allocation, switching to a short run
up half way through the spell. Dan made the breakthrough and
took the first wicket thanks to an excellent diving catch
taken low to the ground by Shakey, yes that's right excellent
diving catch and Shakey did just appear in the same sentence.
The opener falling for 22.
I'm going to say that the second wicket was taken by DT but
I may be wrong, it came about thanks to excellent catch on
the square leg boundary by Winky who looked liked he hadn't
judged it but leapt forward at the last minute to cradle the
difficult chance. Second opener gone for 41 and DT bowled
out his eight for very good 1-29. Steveo was brought on to
Dan bowled number four batsmen for 2 to give himself figures
of 2-41 off his eight. Then Steveo trapped number five batsmen
lbw for 6 and at drinks after 21 over the score was 90-odd
for 4 and things were looking good.
After drinks the two new batsmen looked to accelerate the
run rate and Pablo replaced Steveo. Steve Read replaced Dan
at the sea end and after being slapped around a bit in his
first few balls came back well with good pitched up deliveries
that got the batsmen playing defensively. The run rate acceleration
wasn't stemmed until Pablo had taken three wickets. Number
three batsmen bowled for 28, number seven batsmen bowled for
15 and safe hands Goff taking a catch in the covers to dismiss
batsmen number six when on 49. The batsmen had played excellently
until he got to about 45 and then desperately wanted to get
past the landmark asap, Goff had no sympathy and held the
Pablo finished with excellent figures of 3-35 from seven
and Winky came on to bowl his last three from the sea end.
Steve Read finished with 0-26 off 4.
The tail found the ball a bit more difficult to get away
and Winky got his reward bowling batsmen number nine for 1
and finishing with 1-37. Steveo bowled the last and finished
on 1-33 off five. The Centurions setting a target of 217 to
217 looked like an achievable target if a couple of Casual
batsmen got good scores so we set about tea with gusto. There
was a range of sandwiches, crisps, cake and chocolate bars
that erred on the side of low maintenance but was welcomely
devoured all the same.
Cheese and Shakey opened the innings and from the off Centurions
threw down good line, length and pace. This lethal combination
was too much for Cheese whose off stump was clipped right
at the top towards the end over the first over with the score
At this point it should be pointed out that while the Centurions
had been batting they had been perfectly polite and well mannered.
However, in the field the banter turned to that found in a
school playground who delighted in the most childish of profanities
at each other. This isn't necessarily the worst thing that
an oppo had ever done but the incessant nature of it from
as soon as each ball went dead until the next ball was delivered
grated somewhat and had me wishing I actually knew whether
as an umpire I was allowed to tell them to shut the f**k up.
Steveo strode out to the crease complaining that he wouldn't
have eaten as much tea if he'd known he would be batting so
quickly. The opening bowler took himself off after two maiden
overs with a wicket and Steveo had tried to open up a bit
against the bowler at the other end who was also bowling good
lines with pace. The replacement bowler started with 3 wides
down leg side before finding a couple of straighter ones that
Steveo didn't connect with, followed by a delightful cover
drive punch for an uphill boundary. After a number of uncharacteristic
forward defensives, the inevitable happened and the bowler
found a straight one which did for Steveo who returned to
the pavillion for 6 with the score on 15.
Akbari joined Shakey and tried to steady the ship putting
together a partnership of 22 off the next seven overs before
Akbari fell to a straight one he couldn't keep out for 9.
Shakey was still stoically battling on at the other end.
Steve Read joined Shakey but the only thing more incessant
than the banter in the field was the straightness of the bowling.
Steve Read sent packing for 3, another victim bowled with
the score 50-4 after 15 overs which had taken literally hours
The fielding side realised it was starting to get dark and
many of them wanted to go home so they started to push through
the overs a bit more. However, JR came to the crease determined
to make them field for as long as possible and to give none
of them the satisfaction of his wicket. Therefore followed
many a blocked forward defensive which caused groans from
oppo and Casuals alike.
The pace bowlers were replaced by a spinner and a slightly
younger medium pacer who sprayed the ball around a bit. JR
hit two fours off the medium pacer in one over though one
was put down as no balls as it was up around shoulder height.
He also gloved a single off the spinner which umpire Akbari
called a bye but did he complain? Well yes a little bit.
Most of the hard work was however done by Shakey who started
to punish the bad balls while JR blocked out nearly everything
Shakey was next to fall caught of the medium pacer after
35 had been added in the next nine overs. Shakey had played
an excellent openers innings including the usual dabs you
would expect but also some impressive fours including a particularly
good pull shot.
Goff joined JR but was also done by a straight one by the
medium pacer for zero. Pablo was next in and was asked on
his way out whether he had a plan, "To still be here
when the rain comes" was the answer however his early
batting didn't show it anyway the rain never materialised.
The spinner who had bowled five overs at JR for six was hit
for 12 (three powerful fours) and then 5 in his next overs
by Pablo. Pablo eventually fell for 22 with the score on about
113-7 off about 31. He was out caught to the spinner but I
can't remember it. This left Casuals needing about 11 an over
as Dan joined JR in the middle.
The oppo had brought on the 60 year old bowling loopy spinners,
one of which JR performed a 360 swipe to a delivery that was
two foot outside leg and slapped between wicket keeper and
slip for four to the thirdman boundary. Dan might just have
been the man to push the score along but the Centurions had
other ideas and brought a fast bowler back on to finish the
event. The quickie bowled Dan for zero and got JR out lbw
for 13 off about 18 overs although it should have been 18
Winky and DT were the casuals final hope and both had hit
good fours, yes that's right DT hit a four to the point boundary,
before Dave was caught off the quickie with about five overs
still remaining. The Casuals finishing on 130 all out with
about 30-odd in extras swelling their total (although 5 of
these should have gone to JR)
I leave it to others to pass judement on the overall calibre
of the performance but the fielding was pretty good with held
catches an unusual feature. The majority of the team trooped
off to the Seashore Bar n Grill for more free food :)
Now for the cautionary tale (it has an uneventful ending),
I arrived home to be told that my wife had been trying to
get hold of me all afternoon. My 3 yr old son had rugby tackled
his 7 yr old sister and hit his head on the patio to which
his immediate reaction was to vomit. My wife's immediate reaction
was to seek medical attention and had tried to get hold of
me at about 3.30-4.00 to take him to A&E. She needed me
because she couldn't find my parents phone number despite
it being programmed into every handset in the house. Also
she didn't want to drive her courtsey car which has been parked
in the drive way since her car was taken to be fixed after
someone reversed into her. So she got the kids seats in the
courtesy car and tried to reverse up the drive, she couldn't
and nearly ended up in the garage door instead. The 7 yr old
suggested that an ambulance may be in order and so they went
to A&E in an ambulance. The A&E immediately sent them
away because he was fine but they then had to get a taxi home.
So the moral of this story is that while spending your time
and energy trying to prolong an already lost match and annoy
the opposition there may be more important things going on
[ED - if we had realised the drama unfolding at the Roach
household we would have gladly given him out lbw far earlier
than we did :)]