Match Report vs St Fagans
25 May 2009 @ St Fagans (Skipper Jam and Report Smitts)
“Success is sweet and sweeter if long delayed and gotten
through many struggles and defeats.”
Amos Bronson Alcott
The Casuals, many of whom were sporting a new bronzed look
from the previous days frivolities, arrived at The St Fagan’s
arena with their eyes on the sky. Unlike yesterday, the weather
looked threatening and so sniper squads were positioned around
the entrance to the ground with “shoot on sight”
orders in case Pikey came to watch. The St Fagan’s team
consisted of some old, some young and some younger. The usual
mix.
“Insert name here” won the toss and The Casuals
were batting. P Stephens and A Hood opened up for the casuals.
J. Swell opened for St Fagan’s and struggled early on
to find his line, but was bowling a decent pace and moving
the ball through the air. By the end of the first over Swell
had found his line and picked up the first wicket. A full,
in-swinging delivery that found its way through Hood’s
defence. Hood Bowled 0. J Furnham The Casuals skipper joined
Stephens out in the middle and looked to see off Swell. Alas,
it was not to be and Furnham fell the same way as Hood. The
bails dislodged by another full in-swinging bobby-dazzler.
Furnham Bowled 0. K. Swain strode nonchalantly out to the
middle and the runs started to come. The young lad Davies
was bowling from the other end and bowling well. Stephens
and Swain kept the score ticking over nicely for the next
20 overs. Playing the good deliveries with respect and punishing
anything off-line.
At the half way stage, the ship had been steadied and The
Casuals had a good platform from which to build. The Casuals
79/2 off 20.
Then disaster, Swain bowled by Allen for a very respectable
and controlled 37. This brought Holiday to the crease but
he didn’t last long and was caught off Blackler having
scored 1. M Stephens joined his brother in the middle and
again the runs started to flow. At times a few choice words
were exchanged between the two batsmen but they batted well
together. P Stephens entered the fidgety 40’s with a
big 6 and looked like going on to get his fifty but unfortunately
it was not to be and he fell soon after to Allen the young
spinner. P Stephens Bowled 42. Then followed the all too familiar
Casuals collapse. Goad, Warwick, Dewberry and Smith all came
and went adding a disappointing 4 runs to the total between
them. I Warwick joins that ever growing group of Casuals who
enjoined a duck on debut. M Foote restored some pride for
the tail end picking up a quick fire 10 before being stumped
off Jenkins.
The Cardiff Casuals innings came to an end. 144 All Out off
39.4 Overs. There were murmurs from the team that this wasn’t
enough and looking back, as so often is the case with The
Casuals, after a decent start and a firm base established,
our batting let us down.
P Stephens 42
A Hood 0
J Furnham 0
K Swain 37
R Holiday 1
M Stephens 19
W Goad 1
I Warwick 0
D Dewberry 1
M Smith 2
M Foote 10
Tea was very enjoyable and contained several incidents’
of note. I’m still none the wiser as to where Shakey
got that welsh cake from. His explanation of, “If you
pray hard enough and your heart is pure, your wishes will
come true,” does not cut the mustard with me. I recon
there was some sneaky welsh cake hiding going on. Now, what
is the correct way to eat a snowball? Does it count as one
of your five a day? Would you bake it in a pie? Does this
make it a fruit because you would bake it in a pie? Does this
make it not a fruit because you would bake it in a pie? What
is the best pie filling? Would a pie pie (A pie pie is a pie
with other pies as the filling) contain too much pastry? Is
pastry the best part of a pie? What is the correct way to
eat a Peter’s pie? Do you take the top off and drink
it or do you munch it all straight down?
We also invented the best snack ever to be conceived by man.
You start with a meatster egg. (A meatster egg is an easter
egg but instead of made from chocolate, it’s made from
meat.) You fill said meatster egg with snow balls, welsh cakes
and a couple of pie pies. Then baste the meatster egg with
turkey dripping and wrap it in fried bread. Then cover the
fried bread with batter and deep fry. To finish off cover
the whole thing with chocolate and you have created the perfect
pre-dinner snack. Now is this snack we have created a fruit
or a vegetable? Does it have seeds? Ask yourself, would you
put it in a pie?
Anyway back to the cricket.
Holliday and Litchfield opened the batting for St Fagan’s.
Holliday had only arrived with 3 overs of The Casuals innings
to spare and spent most of that time in the club house on
his phone [Ed: it turned out he was a doctor on call...].
The subject of much discussion I’m sure. Andy Hood and
M Foote opened the bowling for The Casuals and both bowled
well with the batsmen looking to play themselves in. During
his opening spell Hood had an LBW decision turned down against
Holliday that was absolutely plum. Holliday was more fruit
than man and for a while I found myself considering whether
or not I’d put him in a pie. Maybe he was a vegetable?
After 10 overs the score was 19/0 and it was time for a change
of bowling. Warwick and Goad took over the bowling duties
and continued in the same vain with the batsmen playing them
both with respect. Then all of a sudden Holliday realised
that he was amazing and decided to twat everything to the
boundary bad ball or not.
This went on for several overs with Goad and Warwick taking
heavy punishment to the point of farce. Holliday sensing the
change of mood in the field and no doubt hearing the choice
words sent his way, offered to retire. I told him this would
only piss us off more and eventually his captain came over
and told him to wander down the wicket and miss the next delivery.
Which he did, and was bowled by Goad for 68 [Ed: who as it
turns out didn't realise the chat between the skipper and
batsmen had taken place...]. This brought the young Howe to
the crease and Hood and M Stephens had a bowl at him. The
young lad strolled nonchalantly down the track and effortlessly
lofted Hood back over his head for 4. Hood countered by getting
quicker and quicker and shorter and shorter. The young lad
kept coming and despite the odd ball around his throat remained
unbothered. A blistering spell from M Stephens eventually
saw Howe back in the clubhouse, Bowled for 23. M Stephens
also picked up the wickets of Litchfield and the very young
lad Jenkins both stumped. Alas it was all too late and the
damage had already been done. Kim came on to bowl but was
unable to prevent the batsmen from getting the winning runs.
St Fagan’s 145/4 off 32.3overs.
A Hood 8-1-24-0
M Foote 8-3-16-0
I Warwick 5-0-47-0
W Goad 4-0-28-1
M Stephens 6-2-14-3
K Swain 1.3-0-5-0
An enjoyable day? Discuss.
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