17 South Glam 3 July 08

Several years ago I used to know a journalist who reported on Glamorgan and Cardiff City and told me about the “death knock” as they call it. So when Mr and Mrs S of South Wales have their daughter murdered after taking part in gang bang the journo goes up to the door and knocks and asks if they want to talk about it. Some actually do so they can tell the world how nice she was but lots tell you to f*ck off; either way it’s not a fun experience. Sometimes writing about a cricket match can be painful, this is my death knock.

Sometimes events happen and you think f*ck me that was a bit of luck like the time when I was in a cheap hotel and popped my head out the window looked to my left and lo and behold there was a fit bird lying on the bed in her knickers and bra watching TV oblivious to the fat voyeur. You know what it’s like some days it all goes right and then all can go tits up.

After about 10 overs of this match I was thinking everything is going right here, just everything. They were not very many for plenty of wickets. We don’t have their innings in our book so I will go by memory. Paul and Dan opened up against the formidable pair of Sparkes and Nick Allan. Despite Allan hitting two boundaries’ off Paul (here we go we thought) against decent balls both were gone in the first couple of overs. Dan who bowled two awesome overs had Sparkes caught at gully by Andy H and then some great fielding by Shandy led to Allan being run out.

In fact everything just went for us. Andy caught another one after a bit of a juggle off Dan, Dewbs some great fielding for another run out. Dan the same later on, the fielding was great and the bowling really good, not many boundaries were scored (I did get twatted for 6 over my head) and only one catch dropped which was only really a half chance and not many of us would have pushed it up like Andy H did. The only blip was the odd no ball from Nadeem but who than came back to take a wicket. Dewbs didn’t even get a bowl as we had them all out. The people who don’t bowl often (i.e. me, Pikey (don’t listen to Shakes you can bowl) and Steve did ok. In fact I know its time to give up when Steve bowls better than you! JF behind the stumps had Tesh (who has taken a bit of stick lately with the ball) today instead of Dave to help him to two stumpings as Tesh bowled brilliantly too. JF has taken out more stumps this week than Paul McCartney. Sorry if I missed out any brilliance boys but am doing it from memory and there was quite a bit of brilliance to remember!

P Stephens 2 overs 0 maidens 13 runs 0 wickets
D Lewis 2 1 1 2
Hand 2 0 7 1
Hood 2 0 5 1
Afzak 1 0 8 1
Furnham 2 0 12 0
Pike 2 0 11 0
O’Reilly 2 0 7 0
Hirani 1.4 0 9 2
3 run outs - shandy, Dewbs, Dan

Anyway they scored 72 all out. I said to Dan as we walked off if we don’t beat them now we never will!!!!!!!

JF and PS opened up and for the second time in a week (very rare indeed) the skipper failed as he was caught at short cover to a fine low down catch for 0. 0 for 1 after 5 balls. Steve O at number 3 slapped a couple and was also out to a good catch at mid on I think for 6 off 7 balls. 14 for 2 in the 4th over. This brought in Shandy.

JF was feeling helpless and didn’t know what to do with himself, Steve was saying what a stupid game it was along with many a f*ck. Earlier Steve did some calling for them during a run out (though it didn'teffect the result). He then told me that he can’t help himself and has to almost pass comment after every ball. He says he is getting worse and now he is beginning to irritate himself! Can’t remember you ever being quiet Steve, although you obviously do understand a lot better what is going on these days which is maybe why you have more of an opinion. He also suggested that if he had the heavy bat his shot would not have been caught. He was happy for Shandy to have it but while Shandy was out there he commented that Shandy should have used a lighter bat as he is just a boy and not strong enough to handle it (!). He then went on to say something like due to his member that he is used to having to use two hands to hold something heavy or words to that effect. Explains your technique then Steve.

Out in the middle the score had reached 36 in the 12th over when Paul trying to get on with it was also caught by a good catch for 17 off 33 balls. This as it turned out was our highest score by 11. Shandy then holed out in the deep mid wicket boundary for 5 off 30 balls. 37 for 4 in the 13th became 37 for 5 two balls later when Dewbs was stumped for 0 from two balls.

Nadeem tried to twat everything and was also caught by a good catch (they did catch well to be fair) for 3 off 7 balls and now we were 42 for 6 at the end of the 15th. We needed 31 from 3 overs.

Pikey and Tesh did their best to get on with it and did hit a couple of decent blows before Pikey was bowled trying to twat it for 6 off 9 balls in the 17th over. Andy Hood now in thankless task mode slapped one straight up in the air first ball. Andy was not as pissed off as he was at Tintern but he was not a happy hoodie.

Tesh had crossed hit a two then got bowled for 4 trying to do what had to be done. Dan at the other end was earlier looking forward to his 100 dnb but it was not to be. This meant that with 7 balls to go we needed 20 and I was facing. This was the only ball I faced as it hit my foot, I had no idea where it had gone, Dan rightly called me through, the bowler had picked it up and (I just knew he would) with a direct hit captain Allen took out my stumps and in his 2nd over had taken 3 wickets and a direct hit and we were all down and out for 50 f*cking 3 off 17 overs.

The Casuals camp site at the boundary edge was not a happy place. Losing has become a regular thing for me this year, lost every game on Saturday and apart from Tintern on Sunday too. I know we don’t play to just win and would rather lose a close game than win easily (as long as that don’t happen all the time) but it was gutting losing a game that we really should have won and then given us a massive chance of winning the cup. To get Allan and Sparkes so early and them to be without Jack Lansdowne (good bat and bowl) and the lefty Harding who has scored so many against us was tough to take.

I know we had no Quim, Manish, Muff, Shakes, Smitty etc etc but I think we all felt we should have scored more than 53.

JF 0 off 5 balls
PS 17 off 33 balls -2 fours
S,OR 6 off 7 balls-1 four
SH 5 off 30 balls
DD 0 off 2 balls
NA 3 off 7 balls
JP 6 off 8 balls
Tesh 4 balls?
AH 0 off 1 balls
DL 0 not out 0 balls
AF 0 run out 1 ball

Only Paul reached double figures,

Not sure what else to say really, in simple terms in the field we were great but with the bat not. The one thing you must say is that they took their catches bowled straight and managed to reach 72 despite being 21-6 off 8.

Oh well, always next year!

back