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Match report vs GE Healthcare 0 June 07 @ Wenvoe (Skipper Paul, report Winkie)

The scene starts with two characters usurped straight from a Samuel Beckett play - are they here to play, to watch or deride? They have brought a friend… her name is Stella. Many a man has fallen foul of the charms of aforesaid Stella and these two were not to be the exception….

"Richie & Pikey (aka Fox2) 2007"

Before we get onto the excitement of the cup quarter final thanks to Richie and Pikey for providing so many with an evenings entertainment fuelled by an excess of Stella - thanks also for scoring. Not sure which one it was but shouting "Run you fat lazy C?!t their running five" loud enough to be heard in Cardiff at the opposition's Captain, whilst he was chasing down a cover drive off one of our batsmen, and getting a laugh from his team mates has got to be a first.

Anyway on with the game - Pabs won the toss (?) and elected to put the oppo in. Stephenson and Gibbs opened the batting in true test match style taking ten over's to score 38 before Pabs cleaned out Stephenson in the eleventh. Our early bowling was tight with Manish and Bagpuss opening:

Manish 2 overs, 2 runs, 0 wickets
Bagpuss 2 overs, 3 runs, 0 wickets

Manish was unlucky not to pick up a wicket or two - where's Stumpy when you need him? To give him credit the Ashman had a go, and although he failed miserably he shouldn't feel bad about it… (17 extras out of 69, ok nine were wide's and one a no ball).

Next up to bowl were Shandy and Jaffa (Brierley - just in case you didn't see him nick all the jaffa cakes!)- a useful combination as it turned out - continuing to keep a check on the run rate and unlucky not to get a wicket between them:

Shandy 2 overs, 5 runs, 0 wickets
Jaffa 2 overs, 5 runs, 0 wickets

Most bowlers get two overs in a cup game but the captain was working (I reckon) to a careful plan - the shitest bowlers as designated by "going for the most runs in one over" would only get one each…. Special plaudits in this category (please note: this does not qualify said bowlers as the shitest to have ever bowled for the club now or in the future, any similarities to any other bowler is mere coincidence and should be considered such) go to the Teshticle and that actor/director whose name you can't quite ever remember…. Better luck next time!

Mr Tickle 1 over, 12 runs, 0 wickets
Steve O? 1 over, 8 runs, 0 wickets
Harsh - but fair?

Captain Pabs broke the opening partnership and Deji ably supported at the other end although struggling a little with line (due to excess swing? Always a good excuse!), he too was rewarded wit a rare wicket:

Pabs 2 overs, 3 runs , 1 wicket
Deji 2 overs, 12 runs, 1 wicket

Bringing up the rear, Winky and Radar were given the duty of bowling at the death. Radar bowled off his very short run - even shorter than mine! (no puns!):

Radar 2 overs, 4 runs, 1 wicket
Winky 2 overs, 8 runs, 0 wicket

Total 69 runs for 3 wickets

It looked like an easy total on a reasonably good wicket with an occasional extra bit of bounce…

Jaffa and Steve 'O opened the batting with much excitement? Why? Was it because of the quality of stroke play? The pace of the bowling? No merely the merriment instilled by Stella and the thought of Steve trying to connect with the new club bat… which he did (more merriment) on more that one occasion. It was the usually dependable Jaffa -presumably who had run out of juice (due to having to bowl) who fell first - trying to glance to leg getting a thin leading edge to slip (Bowled 1 - yes by the fat £?$% who couldn't run!). Reilly quickly followed bowled by Fitzgerald (amazing what a hernia opp can do) for a healthy 15.

Great things were expected of Manish… (Golden D 0)… What do you need when things look like they are going a little pear shaped? Someone in form perhaps? someone averaging in the fifties perhaps? Someone with a Goweresk touch perhaps? Well we had just the man in Mr Tickle - consistency he had - not a care in the world. A string of 0's and only needing 1 run for his casual career ton. Hah ye of little faith! A fluent knock of 23 not out accompanied by the lusty blows of Radar for 19 not out saw us home with seven overs to spare.

Semi's here we come

PS Pikey - definitely you in the picture - how old are you?


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